Groceries

We usually shop at one of three grocery stores: Harris Teeter, Trader Joe's, and BiLo.  All of them are outside of the 1 mile radius.  We like to shop at these stores because we like fresh produce, organic and all natural foods, and a variety of specialty items.  Within one mile of our house, there is an Aldi, Compare Foods, Save A Lot, and Family Dollar.   These discount grocery stores are cheap, but they do not carry very many health foods and have a limited selection of organic and specialty items.  When comparing the variety, Compare Foods comes out on top. The produce section at Compare Foods is filled with all sorts of unusual fruits and veggies.  The spice and international section at Compare Foods is full of interesting things as well.  Unfortunately, it is difficult to find very many whole or fresh foods at any of the markets in our one mile radius. It's nearly impossible to find local or in season foods nearby. At the moment, we're making our best attempt to be creative with what we can find.

There are ten residents at QC Family Tree right now.  We share food and grocery shopping responsibilities.  Each week, one person is assigned to go out and purchase the groceries.  There is a grocery "staples" list that the shopper uses in order to stock up on what we need.  We each have an assigned day to cook dinner.  The dinner cooks place their necessary ingredients onto the list so that we'll have everything we need for one full week.  Gratefully, the residents have agreed to shop at the stores within one mile throughout Lent.  It is good to be shopping alongside folks from the neighborhood and to be supporting our area businesses.

Here's the "staples" list for QC Family Tree:

Rule of thumb for shopping:

-          Make sure everyone has put their requests on the sheet.

-          Remember about Gluten free and vegetarian options.

-          Be resourceful…how can we substitute? How can we get it cheaper?

-          Think about what’s in season. Don’t buy out of season stuff. It doesn’t taste good.

-          Think about waste…more packaging = more trash = not a good buy

-          Triple check to make sure we don’t already have it. Look before you buy

-          Take the canvas bags with you.

-          We’ll survive without it…if you’re not sure, don’t get it.

Weekly Staples

o   8 apples

o   16 bananas

o   Another fruit option

o   Baby carrots

o   Choice vegetable

o   Potato (sweet or white)

o   Fish or shrimp (only on sale)

o   Healthy snacks for lunch (cheezits, veggie sticks)

o   4 large diced tomatoes in the can

o   4 cans of beans (any variety)

o   Lox (only at Harris Teeter or Trader Joes’s)

o   Cold Cereal (x2)

o   Mild Salsa

o   Corn tortillas (soft)

o   Bagels or breakfast style bread

o   Sandwich Bread (honey wheat)

o   2 x Morning Star Farms products

o   1 Quorn product (only at Harris Teeter)

o   Gallon 2% milk

o   Gallon Skim milk

    Almond or Soy Milk

o   Cottage Cheese (not low fat)

o   Fat Free Greek Style Yogurt

o   Salted Butter

o   Sour Cream

o   String Cheese – whole milk mozzarella only

o   Corn Chips (family size)

o   Any variety chip (family size)

o   Apple Juice

o   Eggs (1 dozen)

o  Large Cheddar Cheese Block

o   Coffee (dark roast, whole bean)

o   Honey

o   Onions

o   Garlic

o   Cider Vinegar

o   Olive Oil

o   Vegetable Oil

o   Dish Soap

o   Dog Food

o   Trash Bags

Additional Items (Be Specific)

o    

o    

The Helping Hand of Grace

When you act on behalf of something greater than yourself,

you begin

to feel it acting through you

with a power that is greater than your own. 

This is grace.

Today, as we take risks 

for the sake of something greater

 than our separate, individual lives,

we are feeling graced

 by other beings and by Earth itself.

Those with whom and on whose behalf we act

give us strength

and eloquence

and staying power

we didn't know we had.

We just need to practice knowing that 

and remembering that we are sustained

by each other

in the web of life.

Our true power comes as a gift, like grace,

because in truth it is sustained by others.

If we practice drawing on the wisdom

and beauty

and strengths

of our fellow human beings

and our fellow species

we can go into any situation

and trust 

that the courage and intelligence required

will be supplied.

~Joanna Macy, "Grace and the Great Turning"

Not even close to within one mile

Last week, I went on a whirlwind 32 hour trip to Chicago.  The reason for the trip was ministry related.  I met with the Summer Communities of Service site coordinators to talk about our summer internship programs.  While I was in Chicago, I grabbed coffee with a good college friend of mine (sorry for the blurriness of the picture).

  The host home that I stayed in was very luxurious.  It was on the 58th floor of a downtown building overlooking Lake Michigan.  My goodness!  What a sunrise!

Forgiveness

 Scripture passages:

February 22-Matthew 18: 15-35

March 1- Matthew 20:1-16

March 8- Matthew 22:1-14

On Forgiveness

 “Forgiveness is a door to peace and happiness.  It is a small, narrow door, and cannot be entered without stooping.  It is also hard to find.  But no matter how long the search, it can be found.”

 ~ Johann Christoph Arnold 

“There is a hard law…when an injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive.” ~ Alan Paton

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”  ~Nelson Mandela

“It is not right to try to remove all suffering, no is it right to endure it stoically.  Suffering can be used, turned to good account.  What makes a life happy or unhappy is not outward circumstances, but our inner attitude to them.”  ~Eberhard Arnold

Questions for reflection:

What forgiveness are you withholding?

What resentment do you hold that no one knows about?

Lenten series book recommendation:

The Abundant Community: Awakening the Power of Families and Neighborhoods by John McKnight and Peter Block

“The Connections among local people are what awaken the power of families and neighborhoods to weave the social fabric of an abundant and competent community.”  (pg 83)

“[Forgiveness] is especially rare in a mobile society, where we are always moving on.  In community, we cannot run from our history together.  Forgiveness is required when we have to live together.  Forgiveness means we find a way to accept fallibility in the world.  We find a way to accept the dark side of our own past and somehow complete it.  Not forget or pretend it did not happen, but discover that our unwillingness to forgive keeps us imprisoned and unable to either offer our gifts or receive the gifts of those around us who are most problematic.  This is easy to say and  hard to choose, but we do know that it is a community based on abundance that creates a context where forgiveness is more likely to occur.” (pg 88)

“We are responsible for each other.  This is the meaning of community.  We take seriously the idealistic notion that our future is dependent on each of us and if one of us is not free, or valued, or participating in a full life, then these are not possible for any of us.” (pg 66)

“A competent community is the place where I can be myself.  Neighbors exist to encourage this.  For each of us, reclaiming the personal is about aliveness and vitality.  Who I am.” (pg 55)

Do you hide your flaws from your neighbors? [For example: picking up every stray item before inviting them in, smiling falsely- saving your angry face for when you enter the house, never calling your neighbor for help. ]Have you lost the capability of being personal with your neighbors?   Who are the people in your neighborhood with whom you can be vulnerable?  How might you reclaim the ability to be personal, real, and vulnerable within your neighborhood?

Messing Up

This dummy made a commitment to spending money within a mile of her house for Lent and at the same time made a commitment to travel 700+ miles to Chicago for a two day meeting on the first two full days of Lent.  I ate provided-to-me meals and stayed in a host family's home.  I took public transportation and walked one mile in -2 degree weather to get to my destination.  Even in my best attempt, though, I still messed up.  I got thirsty in the Chicago airport.  $6 later, I walked away with an over priced drink and snack. Add to that the travel fare.  The point is- I messed up.  I didn't do what I said I'd do.  I broke my Lenten promise.

It just so happened that this week's scripture text for church on Sunday was the text on forgiveness found in Matthew 18:15-35.  Here is my sermon on forgiveness and messing up:

The first part of this scripture passage is commonly referred to as Matthew’s section on “church discipline.”  It discusses how to deal with a member who has sinned against another member of the church.

Before this passage, Jesus has just told the story of the lost sheep- a story of compassion, love, and unity.  The lost sheep story tells about a lost one who is then reconciled and restored to the community.  It seems as if Jesus is saying, “Here’s how you maintain a healthy community, here’s how you bring back the lost, here’s how you mend a broken relationship- Talk with your brother- just the two of you.  If talking one on one doesn’t work, call on two other fellow brothers to help with the mending, lending their compassionate ear and their gentle wisdom to your conversation.  If the offender is still not listening, bring the larger community into the work of restoration.  We are all in this together.”

Jesus’ lessons on how to address conflict are focused on restoration- mending a broken relationship. A community with Jesus as its Lord and judge is one that is always seeking to restore the lost.

The Why and the How of forgiveness is touched on, but that’s not enough for Peter.  Bless his heart, good old Peter needs more.  “How much, Jesus?  How many times do I have to forgive?  7 is the number of perfection and wholeness.  You’re talking about restoring relationships back into wholeness, Jesus, so do we have to forgive them 7 time?”

“Peter, the wholeness of seven is a pretty good start.  But let’s match wholeness with wholeness, shalom on shalom, again and again. Seventy times seven.”

In teaching that we must forgive seventy times seven, Jesus speaks of an endless abundance of forgiveness -- forgiveness that is absolute, complete, and beyond calculation.

In order to illustrate the point, Jesus tells a parable, a story:

A servant of the King had run up a debt.

-- ten thousand talents. A talent was the largest unit of money, the equivalent of 6,000 denarii, and so ten thousand talents would equal 60 million denarii. Figuring a six-day work week, that means that 10,000 talents would be the equivalent of around 200,000 years of wages! This is a debt almost beyond calculation, one that no person could possibly pay in a lifetime, or in many lifetimes.

Why was the king was so foolish as to allow such an accumulation of debt in the first place. In any case, when it is clear that the servant cannot pay, he initially orders that the servant and his wife and children be sold as slaves, and all their property sold, in order to repay at least a tiny fraction of the debt.

The servant, however, falls on his knees and begs the king, “Have patience with me, and I will repay you everything” (Matthew 18:26). This is a crazy promise, and the king knows it. There is no way the servant could ever repay such an enormous amount. Yet the servant’s plea moves the king to compassion, so that he not only releases the man, but cancels his entire debt.

The forgiven servant then encounters a fellow servant who owes him one hundred denarii. The amount owed to the servant by his fellow servant was the equivalent of one hundred day’s wages. This is not a small amount for a servant, to be sure, but it pales in comparison to the extravagant amount the servant owed the king

The forgiven servant seizes his fellow servant by the throat and demands: “Pay what you owe.” And even when the fellow servant pleads with him using almost exactly the same words that he himself had used before the king, “Have patience with me, and I will repay you,” the servant refuses and has his fellow servant thrown into prison (Matthew 18:28-30).

I’ve never quite understood why the forgiven servant turns around and acts so terribly to the fellow servant who has a debt.  Did he forget that quickly what the King had done for him?  Was he under some sort of distress that we’re not made aware of?  Were there others threatening him or picking at him?  Certainly, if this forgiven fellow was being stalked by the mafia or a gang of angry gambling agents, Jesus would’ve let us in on that juicy tidbit.

This led me to thinking....When are the times when I’m not as forgiving as I should be?  What makes me restrain myself or withhold forgiveness?

If we’re really honest with ourselves, we can identify with the unforgiving servant.  We like to feel strong.  We pride ourselves on being able to keep it all together.  Often times, we don’t like to admit that we’re hurting.  We don’t want a single soul to see that we’re flawed or broken.  A person might be staring us in the face saying, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.  Forgive me.” And instead of moving toward restoration, we’ll close up.  We’ll think to ourselves, “I’m fine.  You didn’t hurt my feelings.  I’m strong.  You don’t have the power to break me.” 

It’s not true, though.  We are hurt.  We are flawed.  We are broken. To be restored, you must be able to admit that you are not whole or perfect. We must be able to forgive.  Sometimes this begins with forgiving ourselves.

Maybe the forgiven servant was having a hard time admitting some things to himself… his flaws…the part of him that needed forgiveness beyond the pardon of money he owed.  Perhaps he struggled at the idea of thinking of himself as someone who’d made mistakes.  I’m not the kind of person who runs up a debt- mismanages money.  I am a hard worker, I am dedicated.  I’ve worked all my life to climb the ladder, to keep my family comfortable, to make a living for myself and my loved ones.  I refuse to even open the credit card statements or answer the phone calls from the bill collectors. I’m not the kind of person who gets a low performance rating.  I’ve never had less than perfect attendance.  I can’t receive a bad conduct grade.   I couldn’t be the kind of person who would mess things up this big. 

The thing is, the forgiven servant has forgotten something.  The forgiven servant is not a failure.  He is not “the kind of person who....”  He’s simply a person. 

He is not his mistakes.  He is not the sum total of his flaws.  His value is not based upon his bank statement.  He is simply a person.  He is Human.

We are human.

--

We are reading the book, The Abundant Community, as a part of our Lenten Series.  “Forgiveness,” the book says,” is the willingness to come to terms with having been wounded.” When we embody forgiveness, we come face to face with our own sin and brokenness …  we come face to face with our humanness…and we realize that we are all alike in our utter dependence on God’s grace and provision.

--

When the king hears about the forgiven servant’s actions, he is so outraged that throws the servant into prison. “So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you,” Jesus tells us, “if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Matthew 18:35).

These are heavy words. We know what Jesus asks of us, and we pray in the Lord’s Prayer, “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Still it seems so difficult, even impossible, to forgive from the heart. 

 The alternative to forgiveness is a heart grown hard with resentment and blindness to love; it is alienation from one another, and in the worst case, violence. A world without forgiveness is a world of relational wreckage, the opposite of the wholeness and fullness of life God intends for us.

The good news that Jesus brings to us in this message of forgiveness is that we can be released from inner guilt and low self-esteem.  We need not be trapped in chains of shame.  No longer do we have to wallow in self-pity.

Forgiveness, Jesus tells us, is not something we count = 7, 77. It is a different way of life…a Kingdom way of life.  It is the realization that we are not God.  We are God’s children- beautifully created and good, also flawed, sometimes broken, able to be wounded

Thanks to the Great and Merciful Provider, to offer forgiveness, all we must do is be who we are- flawed and messy- human .  For, forgiveness is drawn from an outside source- the very being God- whose nature it is to be gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.  God is the source that draws us into wholeness, reconciliation, and restoration of community. 

 for as Jesus says, “Where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”

Thanks for the help from Working Preacher and  the commentary at: http://www.workingpreacher.org/preaching.aspx?commentary_id=2356

The problem with pizza

It seems that my #withinonemile challenge will also require me to give up good pizza for the 40 days of Lent.  There is a chain pizza delivery place within one mile of our house.  It isn't the best pizza I have ever had, but it'll do in a pinch.  The other night, we called to order pizza for the slumber party we were hosting.  Hours ahead, we made the order.  The pizza was scheduled to come at 7pm.  At 7:20pm, we started to worry.  Then, we got a phone call:  "I'm sorry.  We made a mistake.  We do not deliver to your street after 6pm.  You'll have to pick it up."  Ugh. Apparently, our neighborhood is not one in which pizza delivery people feel safe at night.  We drove over and picked up our order.
Two nights ago, we made an attempt to make our own pizza and let's just put it this way- we need practice.

A visit to the doctor

This one must be allergic to something.  His skin is irritated to the point that we felt like we needed to take him to the doctor.  We used to go to the doctor within one mile.  The nearby doctor's visits were torturous.  We would have to make appointments two weeks in advance.  If we needed to see the doctor for something immediate like strep throat or an ear infection, we would have to wait at least two days for an open appointment.  Once we finally got an appointment, we would arrive at the doctor's office 15 minutes before our assigned time and waiting for a minimum of 1.5 hours in the waiting room.  Our names would finally be called and a nurse would escort us to the examining room.  There, we would wait for at minimum another 45 minutes.  We rarely made it out of the doctor's office in less than 3 hours.

The nearby doctor was very nice.  One time, I had an early morning appointment, so I got to listen as the medical staff gathered for prayer before the start of their day.  This gathering just so happened to start 15 minutes after my schedule appointment.  The nearby doctor wasn't always as thorough as other doctors.  My friends would say things like "my child is in the 97% percentile" and I'd have no idea what they were talking about.  Our doctor didn't cover things like this.  Last year, we'd had enough.  We couldn't take the long waits, so we changed doctors.

Our new doctor was recommended to us by a friend.  My husband, Greg, called this morning at 9:00am. Our appointment was set for 9:45am.  The boys hopped in the car and 4.8 miles drove to the doctor's office.  We received thorough care and a solution to the skin irritation in less than an hour.  The prescription has been sent to the local drugstore #withinonemile.

Scenes from within on mile 2/16

An easy day to start with

You can only go so far on a day when there's ice on the ground.

 We didn't join the rush of folks stocking up on groceries at the market before the storm, but we did luck out in having a big box of hot chocolate to share with our friends.

Each person got to pick their preferred mug.  I wrote down each kids' name and the mug they picked so that they would use it throughout the day.  We endured 6 hours of the following:  sled- warm up- throw ice balls (not much snow)- warm up- work a puzzle- argue- drink hot chocolate- run around in the ice- warm up- watch a movie-argue- slide on ice outside- walk to a neighbor's house-argue on the way there- warm up- drink more hot chocolate.  repeat.  

Last night, the school system phone call alerted us to another day out of school today.  Sum total of straight out of school days= 3.  Sum total of children running around our house= 10.  I hope no one's expected an email or phone call from us.  I hope no one hopes to meet us anywhere or see us in anything other than long johns and toboggans.  On days like this, it is easy to stay within our one mile- physically.  It is hard, though, to be creative with our time, to find things to do that will entertain and also not cause the great winter's argument of 2015.  If anyone can think of some ideas that do not result in mess, arguments, and parents going crazy, no need to submit your suggestions.  Instead, please come on by and lead the pack.

Break through, Inner Child, Break through!

Look with winter’s lens on the garden

You will see wilderness

Look with summer’s eye, the view lush

Spy the garden with eyes of a child

In all seasons

It will become a wonderland.

A reflection on Matthew 18:1-5

We all laughed at the clip from The Daily Show.  The video ended, laughter settled, but something within me couldn’t let go of what I heard.  Most memorable were Donald Trump’s thoughts on immigration:

“ … people are just walking across the border... It is so terrible, it is so unfair…we have people that are criminals, we have people that are crooks, you can certainly have terrorists, you can certainly have Islamic terrorists, you can have anything coming across the border…So I would say that if I run and if I win, I would certainly start by building a very, very powerful border”.à

Could it actually be true that someone would seriously consider building a fence around the United States so that no immigrants might come in?  How could anyone think that this is a reasonable solution?

                I look out my back window at my garden.  Everything is brown; frozen. All I can see are toys strewn around, chairs knocked over, a hole in the fence, a sagging gate.  Foolishly, we let the kids think they could go out and play and now they’ve ruined things.  Scattered all across my once-beautiful refuge is debris from the explosion of playful children.  The urge comes quickly when I see the wreckage.  “We need to build a fence,” I declare, “a solid wooden fence with a strong gate and lock.”    

                Days later, I am journaling. In a moment of clarity, I gaze at the garden with the lens of my inner child. The inner child is an artist- curious and playful.  She flourishes because she trusts in God’s provision and takes joy in Divine abundance.  In all seasons, the inner child views the garden with possibility and hope.  She recognizes the realm of God in even the most desolate places.  She knows that there is enough for all of us. 

Scarcity is the lens with which walls are built.  Fear and greed raise fences in the name of protection. We need not make attempts to protect God’s provisions.  God’s abundance pours over walls breezes past borders.  When we choose to live into God’s economy of abundance, we realize that borders and fences are not the answer, they are the problem.  They only serve to keep us from living in communities in which all flourish.

                As children of the Great Provider, we believe in fruit rather than fences, bridges in place of borders, and welcome instead of walls.  The possibilities for God’s creation are bigger than the restrictive notion of a cold, dull fence.  What about an orchard?  What about border communities of welcome and solidarity?  We have been given all that we need and more.  Our task is not to erect a wall. It is to allow the abundant Spirit, the creative inner child, to breakthrough.  

The Teachers in my Neighborhood

The children in my neighborhood go to a variety of schools.  The home school for our area is Ashley Park K-8 school.  It is roughly 3 miles up the road.  For the past three years, QC Family Tree members have volunteered at the school in several ways: mentors, classroom assistants, attendees at special performances, and sponsors of teacher appreciation gifts.  The Ashley Park teachers and administration are doing their very best to provide nurture and education to our children.  Read more about Ashley Park and pray for the staff and faculty of our neighborhood school.

The Hazards of Self Sufficiency

"The term community is often used to describe those living in a specific location or having something in common such as a profession, activity, or ethnic background.  But in modern urban environments, people can live in the same building yet still have no real connection to one another.  Commenting on the widespread lack of social cohesion in Western society, psychiatrist M. Scott Peck describes his experience of growing up in a New York apartment block:

This building was the compact home for twenty-two families.  I knew the last name of the family across the foyer.  i never knew the first names of their children.  I stepped fo in their apartment once in those seventeen years.  I knew the last names of two other families in the biulding.  I could not even address the remaining eighteen.

The danger of being too comfortable, too self-sufficient, is that we lose any sense of needing one another.  If each family has its own washing machine, electronic entertainment, and adequate supplies of food, what reason do we have to knock on our neighbors' doors?  Experiencing need prompts people to reach out and make contact." [The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace, Scott Peck]

Where do we look to meet our needs for security and a satisfying life?"

This is an excerpt from Active Hope: How to Face the Mess We're in without Going Crazy by Joanna Macy and Chris Johnstone

Awakening to the neighborhood

My Book Study group has chosen to read The Abundant Comunity: Awakening the Power of Families and Neighborhoods for Lent.  I'm eager to read and reflect on John McKnight and Peter Block's words of encouragement and practical application.  Just one page in and I had to pause.  You see, for a couple years now, some of my friends have joined the trend choosing a word of the year.  This year, I too joined the bandwagon.  And my word for 2015 is...

Just one page in and I had to pause:

"In many nations, local people have come together to pursue a common calling.  They are groups of local people who have the courage to discover their own way- to create a culture made by their own vision.  It is a handmade, homemade vision.  And wherever we look, it is a culture that starts the same way, with an awakening:

First, we see the abundance that we have- individually, as neighbors, and in this place of ours.

Second, we know that the power of what we have grows from creating new connections and relationships among and between what we have.

Third, we know that these connections are no accident.  They happen when we individually or collectively act to make the connections-they don't just happen by themselves." 

 [ page 1 of the introduction of Abundant Community]

Awakening.  May it be so...

Say What?

Naively, I stood in front of a group of church members and asked them to practice the #withinonemile Lenten challenge with me. This was one of those times that I wish I had a Candid Camera crew at my disposal. You would've thought I'd asked them to stop drinking coffee or something!  These folks looked at me as if I was crazy.

You want us to do what?  

The church where I serve is smack dab in the middle of the affluent suburbs of Charlotte.  If you know anything about city planning, you know that the suburbs were not planned such that one could walk to the grocery store or thrift store.  In the suburbs, things are spread out.  If a church member agrees to a one mile radius of the church building, they will not be able to shop at a grocery store for 40 days.  eek!  

Of course, the #withinonemile challenge has all sorts of clauses attached:

• If you need to extend your radius, do so.  Reflect on and record your experience.
• Be mindful, but don't torture yourself.

At the sight of those unwelcoming faces, I thought for sure that not one congregant would even pause to consider the challenge.  That's why I was thrilled when a church family joined us for lunch and the topic of conversation that they brought up was, "So, I want to try this challenge, but the grocery store isn't within a mile of my house.  Unless you want me to make all grocery purchases from the gas station, which would cost an arm and a leg, I'm going to need an extension."  YAY!  Does this mean that someone else is joining me- a suburbanite, no less- in this crazy practice?  I sure hope so.

I should probably mention that I have already discovered that I too will need an extension on some things:

• Pre-paid classes:  Unfortunately, my yoga class is 1.25 miles away from the house.  Additionally, I have already paid for a pottery class which is located across town.
• Childcare:  My youngest son is in preschool.  When he's there, I'm either at work or working on creative endeavors.  This, to me, is pretty close to entertainment.  I'm not forsaking preschool for Lent.  He'll be going and I'll be paying.
• Internet:  The internet is not much more than entertainment.  Even this very blog falls into the category of entertainment, for the most part.  There isn't an internet company within one mile of my house.  All of the internet companies in our town are big huge corporations.  I should boycot internet all together, but I'm not going to- at least not yet.

I'm sure, throughout Lent, I'll find some other admissions I must make. 

We'll see as we go.  Thank goodness we're all in this together.